Epiphany

What do you do when you have an Epiphany?  I had one today and I knew it.  Even though I wasn't completely sure what the word meant.  

So I looked it up:

(1)  :  a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) :  an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) :  an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure

Yes, that’s what I had alright. 

It all happened when I looked at Faith’s application status with MacEwan University:

17 plus years went flashing through my brain.  Infertility, conception, birth, baby, toddler, preschooler, grade school, junior and senior high.  For the past 10 years she’s been under my wing pretty much 24-7 as Brian and I prepared her for adulthood.  Dance, Piano, Camp, Europe, Drivers’ Licence…. flashing through my brain.

Lately she’s been hovering more on the edge of the nest; 

                            jumping out once and awhile and then returning to safety and comfort.

My heart is racing with excitement and my stomach is filled with butterflies thinking about the unknown.  I don’t even know what’s ahead for her.  Neither Brian nor I ever went to University.  What am I going to do once she’s not my 100% responsibility anymore?  I have never held her back from anything she really wanted to do and now I have to start really letting go in the next 9 months to Grad 2014.

By Grade 2 I knew without a doubt I could teach her and so in Grade 3 I began.  We had so much fun with the “My Father’s World” Curriculum.  As we approached Jr. High I asked her if she wanted to go to school.  No, she did not, and so I started to blend her curriculum with the Alberta Curriculum and by Grade 9 she was doing a couple of online courses.  Grade 10 was approaching and I was starting to panic.  How would home school high school be?  I contacted the local Christian High School and they said they'd get back to me.  I prayed during that time about this big decision.  They never did get back to me so I moved forward.  Online Academy for Faith.  It’s been awesome – even when I second guessed myself several times through the years, she is now an honour student doing full time online Alberta Curriculum through St. Paul’s Academy.  That’s what worked for us – and I’m so thankful it did. 

So now she stands on the threshold of going to School…. For the first time since Grade 2!  She is ready.  She’s wanted to be a nurse ever since she was 7 years old and  I would find her in bed at night reading through Biology books and taking notes.  Her eyes would be big with wonder and awe.  She wants to head overseas as soon as she is ready - to help those who do not have all the privileges we have.  And after 6 weeks of working at the Royal Alex hospital this summer it’s solidified for her.  She wants to help sick people.

It’s a happy time and a scary time for me.  My firstborn leaving the nest… and my last one too.  Never would I have imagined these years would be over already. 

So my epiphany?  Suddenly I realize my little girl is grown up and looking forward to branching out for herself.  Suddenly I realize she is ready.  Confident, able, with a passion to help others, and a love for Jesus that is evident in her day to day.

“Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love Him with all that’s in you, love Him with all you've got!

Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night.” Deuteronomy 6